Over the years, I’ve collected some of the smartest-yet-funny software
development quotes I have read. Here’s the current short list in no particular
order. Oddly enough, they all address the woes of programming.
Feel free to add any like quotes in the comment section!
1.
My Favorite one
: “”First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a
programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.”".
2.
Hardware
runs on smoke. Once the smoke is released, the hardware stops working.
3.
“The
first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The
remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.”
– Tom Cargill
4.
“In
order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.” – Author
Unknown
5.
“I have
always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has
come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” – Bjarne
Stroustrup
6.
“A
computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human
history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” – Mitch
Ratcliffe
7.
“There
are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple
that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so
complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far
more difficult.” -C.A.R. Hoare
8.
“The
gap between theory and practice is not as wide in theory as it is in practice.”
– Author Unknown
9.
“If
builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first
woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.” – Gerald Weinberg
10.
“If
debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.” – Edsger Dijkstra
11.
“Measuring
programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building
progress by weight.” – Bill Gates
12.
“Nine
people can’t make a baby in a month.” – Fred Brooks
13.
“Programming
today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better
idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” – Rich Cook
14.
“There
are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t
believe this to be a coincidence.” – Jeremy S. Anderson
15.
“Before
software can be reusable it first has to be usable.” – Ralph Johnson
16.
“Any
fool can use a computer. Many do.”
17.
Debugging
is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you
write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart
enough to debug it.
18.
We have
a deal with God – he doesn’t produce software and we do not produce miracles –
a software engineer.
19.
Software
is not complete..untill the last user is dead…
20.
“My
software never has bug, it’s just developing a random features.”
21.
“Naturally,
a tool for getting rid of bugs in your program is called a ‘debugger’. Mudanely
enough, the corresponding tool for putting bugs into your program is called a
‘programmer’.”
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